I Am A Vampire

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything here, hasn’t it? However, I have a good reason! A week ago, I was embraced by a vampire and sent to Los Angeles to fulfill a number of tasks. My sire, unfortunately, was exterminated and I was left to often fend for myself as a fledgling. It has been a hectic week to say the least; but I apologize for the absence nonetheless. It’s not easy being a bloodsucker… [Read more]

Choose Your Own Adventure

You come to the end of the hallway. A hideous skeleton suddenly appears and looks at you … fury burning through his eye sockets. He raises his bony arm; a giant sword piercing the air above him as he readies for combat. If you want to draw your blunt force trauma weapon, turn to page 3. If you’d like to turn around and book back down the hallway like a coward, turn to page 4. If you’d like to stick around and ask the skeleton how he keeps his physique so fit and trim, turn to page 5. [Read more]

LucasArts Let Downs

It’s a shame that a company I can say has produced some of my favorite game titles of all time has also been a major source of let downs for me now and again.

I wrote about wanting to see a new Monkey Island previously. It’s been forever since LucasArts said another sequel would follow, and it just doesn’t look like it’ll ever happen. This isn’t the only time they’ve hinted sequel and not followed through, however. [Read more]

BRB, Bathroom

Whenever I take a number two, I think of these guys. And I mean that in the most respectful way. I found this site a month or so ago when a headline to an article caught my eye on an unrelated forum. It was some kind of a poll on finding out whether people stand to wipe, or wipe while sitting down. Hey, I was curious. [Read more]

Does Your Crotch Itch?

No, mine neither. But my sides were aching after I read a post while blogsurfing just a few moments ago.

It’s officially Monday on the East Coast. 1:14am as I’m typing this, and god knows what it’ll be when I hit publish the way I proof read stuff endlessly before finally launching a post. [Read more]

What Set You Claiming, Son?

Hey homies. I ran across a news story tonight and I need your help.

I’m not sure whether to laugh, shake my head in disbelief, or start c-walking over to the kitchen for a snack and forget I ever read this shit.

You be the judge after I break it down for you. Here’s the 411: [Read more]

Top 5, Noob Blogger Moments

I’m sure each and every blogger out there has a short list of silly, funny or embarrassing things they did as brand new bloggers.

Here are my top 5 noob moments since start up.

5. Sticking a stat counter in the footer of my brand new blog and announcing to the blogosphere that I had a whopping 4 page views… [Read more]

Fatality: Superman Finishing Move

It’s fun watching old movies from your childhood. The way you saw it as a kid is nothing like how you see it now. And that was definitely the case with Superman III and me.

This movie has so much unintentional comedy gold to be mined from it, but I’m only going to touch on one part that I found especially funny. [Read more]

Ad Libs: Night Before Christmas

‘Twas the second before Christmas, and all through the hut,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a buffalo.
The pants were hung by the coffee table with care,
In hopes that St. Lucy soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their bookcases,
While visions of sugar-pineapples danced in their toes.
And uncle in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap. [Read more]

Tihs Is Petrty Stragne

You hvae to cehck tihs out:

“Can you raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

“i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. [Read more]

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